monarchical governments never last...

Only days until the royal wedding and I honestly could care less of a crumpet-shaped crap. Why are we so obssesed? Im American, and that means that I am entitled to be an ignorant, self absorbed, jack ass. So I don't care what a couple of rich British people are doing. You may say: "But its a modern day fairy tale! shes a lowly commoner, hes a prince, blah, blah, so romantic."  Well I disagree its like a sad, pathetic Disney movie after reality has slapped the ever loving shit out of it; shes in it for the status & wealth, and hes awkward and balding. get real people, got out and live your own life rather than watch and obsess over someone else's.
                                                      /Monica

Walt Disney is Hitler.

Or I think so.  I asked my history teacher if Walt Disney was of German descent, he said yes.  And that mustache.... He's hitler.      /chloe



(that explains sooo much.......  /Monica.)

manly advice from a chick

I am in love with Andy Samberg.... He is the manchild of my dreams. When i first saw 'Jizz in my pants.' It was like love at first sight. If I ever meet him, I make no promises that I would not publicly jump his bones. And guys, just a little bit of insight: It doesnt take alot for a man to be sexy, you dont have to be Ryan Renolds to get the girl; I mean you have to brush your teeth and shower often, but there is no need to try so hard. Just treat us with respect, keep your chest hair firmly attached to your body, (sorry, but a silky smooth guy wierds me out.) and stop wearing your little sisters jeans.   P.S Andy, if you ever read this: give me a year, im almost legal!

                                              /Monica

Happy End-of-Spring-Break

Today, I had a pretty great day.  I would love to summarize it quickly, but I actually can't. So sucks to be you.
  So, I saw the nicest male ass I've seen in my life. So round and plump.  And it's strange, he's a basketball player.  But he still had the most perfect ass I had seen in my life.  I almost shed a tear as the apple bottom floated down the hall. It was great.  I just want to hold those cheeks in my hands.

 <3 Chlobeast

A story....

well first day back from spring break and my ass is already in trouble, why? you may ask, well let me tell you a little story:  At the end of the period his creepy ass said "I need to speak with you after school about your current events essay." So with a sigh i tried my best not to showcase my actual feelings about the guy, those being: 'pervy douche.' and agreed to return after school. (A little back ground info on Mr.Creepydouche; he is a man of perpetual gloom and saddness, he always smelles of rotten fish, and has the look of a man who could not possibly ever satisfy a woman......)

                                                               sweet shades bro.

...Flash forward to the of end school. I reluctantly drag my ass back to his ominous lair of doom to full fill my no doubt unfair and undeserved punisment for crimes i had not commited."Ah there you are Monica, i thought you had forgotten."  (Someone get this pervy douche a hairless cat.) "As you know, plagarism and cheating are frowned upon here." Oh no? Really, at school? No shit Sherlock. "Well yes Mr. Creepydouche, i am well aware of the schools zero tolorence for cheating and plagerizme, but i am confused as to why i am here seeing as how i have not violated those rules." (Mental high five!) "Ah yes, well that is not entirely true now is it? Is this your essay right here?" He askes holding up my 5 page single spaced current events essay i had worked so hard on, over spring break no less. "why yes it is sir Pervydouche." "Well  I strongly suggest you revise it before turning it in or i will be forced to lower your grade, for example there are many places in your essay where you inserted sentences that do not belong." he was of course talking about my random bursts of sensless humor I added to keep away the boredom , some of these include but are not limited to: suck my balls. how do magnets work? global warming does not exsist. and my favorite: FRIDAY!FRIDAY! GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY!

       /Monica

Firmly grasp it!

I'm glad Monica is artistically clever, because I'm really not good with that stuff.  I love the layout: it screams, these classy teenage girls enjoy babysitting and watching Disney channel movies while making T-Swizzle music videos with their Barbie webcam; therefore they must blog about new recipes involving Lucky Charms and chocolate syrup.  But then, you are struck with more awesomeness than expected once you quit being judgmental queers and actually read shit on the blog. The background is not only visually pleasing, but also like barrier that when you read something that strikes you as shocking, you can look at those clouds... and bam, a barrier of innocence covers your fragile mind.  And if it comes to that, GTFO because you can't handle real  life.  Bottom line, this layout is amazing.  Thank god Monica is a freaking boss. Expect pretty things! Or not.  Because pretty things are going to happen regardless.
Anyways, I can't believe I just wrote that much on that. I have something to say about brown though. Yes, the color. Brown is my favorite color, okay?  And I know, "Brown's not on the color wheel.  That's like saying you're favorite color is clear." BUT IT'S NOT.  Because my favorite color is brown.  I say Orange is my favorite color, it is I guess.  But I like brown better.  So anyways, screw you all.  I think brown is a flattering color.  Calm yo tits.

<3 Chloeeee

i sound like my mother...

As obvious as it is to others let me just share a quick bit of knowledge with you,...Whoever you may be. Chloe and I are pretty much polar opposites. Translation: while Chlobeast is a sexy bitch, (and slightly scary in a completely refreshing way.) I am more passive agressive, meaning i am the type of person that feels obligated to yell at that really obnoxious lady in Walmart with the cart full of crap in the 20 iteams or less checkout line. (I mean come on! Wheres the justice in that? All i want is to buy a box a tampons, a shovel, and some cadbury eggs and be on my way!) But on the other hand feels it would be too rude to ask for my friend to give me back my favorite dress that i let her borrow, two years ago. So Chloe's post reminded me of the time i was called a tease, it was spring of 2010 and i had been talking with a guy for about a month, now normally in my opinion that is called friendship, but i guess to him that translated to 'I should have been putting out like, yesterday'.  He accused me of being a tease and playing hard to get and promptly blocked me on facebook...Yes while i do admit that being the opposite of chole (a virginal prude.) means that most of the time a guy could be publicly dry humping me and i still wouldnt get the hint that 'Hey! maybe he kinda likes me'. Call me ignorant, but not a tease! Im sorry that all of those romantic, late night texts inquiring for nudey pics didnt make me want to rip my clothes off for you then and there! Our generation is seriously screwed, forgive me for thinking that a relationship is not fully developed until a guy has the cajones to ask me out on an actual date,(and pay the bill for said date.......you know who you are.)  people my age just dont realize that while posting your relationship status on FB and texting each other sappy, seriously inarticulate love notes may give you the right to call them your boyfriend,  its not a relationship, its not love, thats a venereal disease waiting to happen. VIRGINAL PRUDES UNITE!!!
   yours truly: Monica